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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland






When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)






Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown








Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968








Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.  ~Jean Paul Richter






A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold








My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew






They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown



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  • Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836



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  • Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby
    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller
    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby



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  • First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey