The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
