i just wear Hijab and Abayah (sheila and abayah)^i dont look like that but oh well
i love niqaabs even though i dont wear one, dont think im going to wear one and dont think its fardh but i think niqaabis are cool :)xSalaamz
lately i seem to have more work with school, i spent all my time either studying / on the pc/tv when im taking a break from studying , i soend my money on things to do with studying and meanwhile this is the things i have stopped doing:
1) apart from ramadan i havent gone to the masjid much
2) i havent gone back to the halaqas where i used to learn useful islamic stuff
3) i havent gone to the talks that i keep getting invited to
4) i havent read/bought any islamic books/or even normal novels just studying books
5) oh and i quit the tajweed class because it stopped me from studying useless wordly rubbish and then the teacher got banned from my entire area by police (long story) so i cant even go back because i cant be bothered travelling to him.
and apart from listening to quraan random times i dont give as much charity as i used to, im saving up for something so my allowance doesnt go to charity anymore , i feel like i have totally failed besides salah and hijab which im so used to i dont feel like im trying i dont think i do anything islamically useful and the more i think about it the more depressed i get and even though its my new years resolutions i dont think it has changed anything, so inshallah im planning to go umrah in the summer and hajj this year , my family live in saudi arabia so ill stay with them for a while this summer around 3 months hopefuly being in an islamic suposedly islamic enviroment will help me start wanting to do islamic stuff or atleast getting a break from studying and stuff,ill get time to do islamic stuff if that makes sense, because wallah i used to feel so good and peaceful and as if i knew what i was doing and when all that stopped i dont get that feeling anymore and its stupid because every ramadan i feel so guilty for wasting time on stuff that doesnt REALLY MATTER, education and your work and whatever is good but you can still go to JANNAH and please Allah even if your dunno unemployed or poor or whatever and thats what we all here for to please Allah not to buy mansions so why then does no one in my family tell their kids to do islamic stuff. theyll send you wherever you want to study stuff in the world but they wont do it if you want to study islam, theyll pay for private schools but not for islamic courses . i think muslim families parents kids etc should get their priorities right.
Allah help me become a better muslim, and us all
salaamz
naz
xxx
