Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
