I don’t know why but I really feel gan cheong.
In case if you don’t understand Cantonese, it means nervous.
I can’t help, seriously.
I woke up feeling nervous since morning till now. I have no idea why I even wanna blog about it. Guess, this is one of the good way to release my stress.
Better prepared myself with all the long to-do-list. I need to get them ready before the institute which is this coming Sunday! SUNDAYY!!!
*run around*
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| Playing with my camera's smile detection function. It will automatically snap when it detects smile. I think i look like a retarded person more. Oh my. |
Will you still love the way I am if one day, I changed?
Will you still visit my blog if one day, I don’t blog as frequent as I used to?
Will you still read if one day, I changed topics that I used to write?
Will you still remember me if one day, curryegg is no longer existing? (maybe she has turned into currychicken? curryostrich? curryfish? currypanda? )
Will you still response if one day, I started writing crap like this?
Will you?
And will you?
I was always… and still always…
a perfectionist who have the tendency to do and finish work, perfectly perfect.
I would rather delay my time in the search for the ‘Best Inspiration’, and then only commit in doing the work.
It happens to my coursework, assignment, housework, making presents and even when it comes to blogging. I find it hard to start a task especially those which I am fully passionately, committed and excited with. Often, I realize I have high hope to make the best work which end up consuming lengthy hours to complete or worse, not doing at all – if inspiration doesn’t hit me. This perfectionism frustrates especially when I procrastinate my work and most of the time, finish at the very last minute.
In every last minute work which is imperfectly done, I thought I’d learned my lesson. Every time, I swear and promise to start my future task earlier so that I can complete in time. Well, when you read such ranting post, it’s obvious that my attempt failed… =(
I came across with an article, discussing about creative people often procrastinate and delay their work because they want to find the best idea. Perfectionism is a common trait among creative people – and I cheerfully put myself into the group which give me an excuse for my delayed work. Hey, I want the best work ma. So I find the best idea and finish later lor.
However, I don’t feel myself productive at all. Looking at my blog achieve for example, I don’t write much blog entries over the years. I realize I wrote the most in the year of 2008 and it reduces throughout the years –
| Years | Number of blog posts |
| 2007 | 163 |
| 2008 | 271 |
| 2009 | 181 |
| 2010 | 119 |
| 2011 | *50 |
Gosh! I only make 50 egg entries so far for this year? o_O
It might due to my buziness and other personal reasons for the reduced number of blog posts. But, I also realize that the other reason is due to my perfectionism. I don’t write if I can’t find the best inspiration. I don’t write if I don’t have the best list of photos. I don’t blog until the so and so reason.
Well, I find it hard to simply publish unorganized blog post especially when I have more readers now. I will carefully write and insert photos in each of my blog and it ended up take a very long time. I have this feeling of not wanting to loss my readers (you) with my ‘imperfect post’ for example unedited photos, unorganized thoughts and etc. Thus, there is a tendency to impress my reader more than myself.
I don’t mean that carefully organized writing is not good. Of course, I want quality work. Just, I don’t like the idea of losing my spontaneous side to complexity. This awareness was formed when I visited a bookstore yesterday and I came across with this good book on ‘Creative Writing’. There is a page which written,
Postpone perfection
Perfectionism can kill writing, cutting it dead as it tries to emerge. There is a time for perfecting writing and it is not at the outset. But what if you find it painful to produce clumsy, ineffective lines or sentences? You should understand that all writers, even the most experienced, can write badly. The gift of writing is a power that flickers – everyone has mediocre days as well as magical. Try to cultivate an attitude of curiosity.Book: Creative Writing – Edited by Linda Anderson (page 21)
I find a strong connection with the above discussion. It’s true. Perfectionism kill my joy of writing sometimes. I was thinking, why perfectionism occur in me? I shared similar discussion in my last post on the perfectionist nerd. Is it because I am a Virgo? Or is it because I am a right-brainer? Or is it because I am being taught so?
It didn’t take me long to come up with a conclusion that, I am afraid to fail. I am afraid to portray a silly side of me. I am afraid to be judged. And, I am afraid to be seen as useless. Thus, I always want to show a stronger intellectual side of me. Probably, this also affects my blogging style – write a Grade A post or don’t write at all… =_=
I do admit that I have this perfectionist trait in me. The good news is, it can be balanced up as we aged – said Dr. Diana. And I want to cultivate my magical side through spontaneous writing starting by today. I used to blog very freely back in year 2007-2008 (can be seen on the above table).
I do think that I don’t have to show my perfectionist side in my own personal blog. After all, this is not a professional website. I am allow to make mistake, silly writing and uninteresting post, right?
Showing the silly sides of me (us) XD
It’s time for a change in curryegg. Don’t ask me what will it be because, I don’t know.. yet.. Let’s hope for more eggs in future =P
P/s: Wow, I have wrote a lengthy post in a short time without me realizing it. It works! =D
If you still remember some of my doodles on my imaginary curryegg, I believe the below drawing wouldn’t be new to you. Probably it is different because of the additional red bow on her head. Lol…
If you are unsure of what I am writing about, don’t worry. Here are some of the links which will keep you on track with my not-pay-attention-in-class-masterpiece. Link 1, Link 2 and Link 3. Should I feel proud?
Her name is curryegg.
Recently, curryegg has a new friend and his name is Da, Pan Da. Well, we all call him Panda because it sounds cuter. Don’t you think so?
For all this while, I thought curryegg is cute. Somehow, panda is cuter with soft fur,large eye bags, merry-go-round tummy and big head. Also, he eats bamboo and sleep a lot too (as much as pig). Ahhhhwwwww….
Panda is just 3 years old (wait.. 2, 4 or 5?). He is very naughty but clever as well. He makes lot of friends because of his happy-go-lucky personality. Besides, he is good in computer, just like curryegg.
That’s how they make friends in the first place where they share things in common like playing online games, facebook and msn. Besides, they enjoy spending time together. That’s how their friendship grow over time.
Panda is good in dancing on the floor.
But sometimes shit too much…
He is adorable when wearing red bow.. ahhhwww…
So, this is Panda. He is a new best friend of curryegg. Welcome on board, cute panda! Do try bathing on curry soup someday with eggie. Lol.. XD
So, how do you find my doodles?
If you have been following curryegg’s page in Facebook, you will start to realize some of these drawings.
Panda is eggie’s new best friend =)
The above works are my collection of Panda and CurryEgg. Not sure if there will be more in future. Well, let see how far I am able to focus on my hands on task. Psstt.. Mostly, I doodle when I am bored =P
Ever since I came back from Australia, it seems like I have no drive to play my camera -pinkeggie. Probably my hormone lately doesn’t trigger my ‘appetite’ to snap photos except, nonchalantly capturing moments using my camera phone - N-eggie.
Well, this entire month I didn’t make much of travel to new places. Most of the time, I choose to stay at home nurturing my introverted side by reading comic, watching movie, playing games and eating. It feels like heaven for being able to hibernate for a while before working. I enjoy my quiet moments and can feel the simplest joy of both being alone and treasuring my connection with closed ones.
Anyway, I am still able to make quick shot almost every little moment I find interesting with my N-eggie. Like they say, a picture worth a thousand of words.
Here is my August’s collection which I have and haven’t shared in my curryegg’s page. I find the randomness kinda of interesting as each tells a unique story.
#1. A monthly visit to bookstore.
I found these interesting page and book cover.
I heart you.
500 types of curries can be found in this book. Should I learn this and open my own curry stall? Emm….
#2. Woke up at 7.30am and ran 3 rounds at the park.
My tired face after the jog. But someone said I doesn’t look like one. Look more like just woke up from sleep? =.=
#3. Jane’s 24th Birthday celebration at Shogun @Sunway
This is the first thing I am after for – sashimi!!! I was so satisfied and happy for the entire month! Raw salmon. I love raw salmon with lemon and wasabi =D
Again, it tastes better when you eat using left hand. Trust me. Give it a try ;)
#4. Heart capturer.
I am the heart-capturer. Can’t you see it? I’d captured this photo of him and his heart shaped finger while we were playing MapleStory together with Alvin. Lol.. still.. I love this picture <3
#5. Detective Conan!
I have finally able to read his name correctly: Conan and not Canon. This is one of the page that I find interesting. I like the dress =)
#6. He has my heart.
*shy*
^____^
#7. Fun time with my cousin’s family.
Ah boy welcomed me warmly the moment I reached his house. He even kept some of his ‘Angry Bird’ sticker collection for me. Can you see the gigantic red bird and eggs on my netbook? Lol.. Well, these are his love for me and I gotta accept =P
Cousin’s brother make good vegetarian cheese pizza like toast. They taste great and I just can’t stop munching. Maybe someday I can make for my children =)
Teach my 6 year old nephew to play MapleStory Adventures at Fb without his mother’s knowledge. Lol.. what a bad aunty I am =P
The red and pink teams. Aren’t they such a good balance? Haha..
We ate at Lohas and they serve healthy, quality food!
Him, again.
#8. UM Library.
I miss being a nerd. So I visited the library for the last time. Btw, my hair is getting longer. Guess, it is time to keep my hair after 2 years.
9. My new, gorgeous sandal!
They are my favorite pair of shoes. Never own any as beautiful as this. Thank you dear so much for the love! =D
#10. Ginger Bread Men.
Sook Fan who is Calv’s colleague treated us with her homemade ginger bread man. Oh my, they are so cute! Making us not wanting to eat but admiring them. Ahhwww….
We went to a comfy place for good drinks at Starbuck with these 2 lovely cookies. Still, we didn’t want to eat them. Probably we scare they will yell when we start biting *ouch* >.<
#11. Addiction towards MapleStory Adventures @FB
This is one of my favorite level in MapleStory where I can find cocks, eggs, curry chicken and chick hat. And can you spot our pacifiers? XD
#12. Movie with siblings – finally!
It was my first time watching movie with both my brother and sister, together with my cousin. At first, I thought Captain America wouldn’t be that interesting because it is an action and more boyish movie. But I was wrong. It is a great movie with interesting plot and moral of the story. Also, it’s hilarious too! Do watch if you haven’t! =D
A pop-corn for 3 but ended up I was eating alone. Both of them were dieting and not wanting to eat. Gosh, my tummy is getting rounder.. =.=!!
#13. A shopping day with my mei mei.
Nothing much. Just a random photo of me taking at the park. I just realized that those photos taken were in May’s hp.
#14. A big bun which is bigger than my head.
I am serious! It cost RM20 for small and RM25 for big. Mum got this for dinner yesterday from Port Dickson. There is curry chicken hiding inside the bun. Not bad.
#15. Drawing while reading.
Well yes, I am doing it again. It seems hard for me to concentrate in reading serious stuff, especially in those that I have no interest with but still have to do. So... I draw. This is my new found love and his name is Da, Pan Da. It resembles someone who has big, round and charming tummy =)
Lol..
So here are my collection so far. I will come back again with my other discoveries. Do drop me comments too! It has been a long time I have not hear anything from my readers. See ya!
P/s: These are the less quality photos from camera phone. The good thing is, you can see the natural and original side of every photos.
I was at a gift shop and found a stand of keychain with various names when I was in Australia few days ago. Luckily, I found ‘Kelly’. Well, it is pretty common (but beautiful name!). Guess what it says?
-Kelly-
Devoted, kind and warm-hearted, her qualities and charms are unequalled, her smile can touch your very soul, never under-estimate her as she is a constant source of amazement, overflowing with zest and energy, she enjoys life to the fullest, for it is the only way she knows.
It sounds beautiful and somehow, true to me too. I find myself enjoy life very much, even just a simple, small thing with nature or people whom I cared and loved. Guess, this is one of the reasons why I always have things to blog in these 4 years+?
By the way, I am not too sure with the statement ‘her smile can touch your very soul’. Maybe my smile does touch someone’s heart, like yours? Did you? =)
I love my name so much. Thank you dad~
I wonder, is there any Kelly who is reading this too? If yes, do let me know. We shall be proud =))
P/s: I can’t find the name ‘curryegg’. Well, I seriously think that they should find the definition for this name too.
That motto is a spontaneous one, i swear! *pointing at current blog post title*
It is created within seconds. Lol..
I just couldn’t stop smiling while looking at the photo which was taken last Saturday, before leaving the rented house with Shu Huan.
Both Shu Huan and I have cleared all our stuff and moved out from the house, leaving nothing but eggs. Err… I mean chicken eggs.
Our housemates were not around during the cleaning day. So, I thought of leaving them a note on top of the plastic container and it sounds like this:
I know…
It sounds so wrong. But the motto is still cool.
So, let’s come again,
“Remember Egg, Remember Curryegg”
Kakakakakakakakakaka….XD
