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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.  ~Sam Ewing






The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright






I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997








Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.  ~Author Unknown








I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown






Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.  ~Author Unknown








A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold






I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter



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  • Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni



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  • Youth is a disease from which we all recover.  ~Dorothy Fulheim
    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
    May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown



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  • Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons