Salaamzi was thinking yesterday, and today it must be hard being a parent, or its hard being a good parent , maybe if you want to be a crap one its all cool, :P, im not just talking about all the technical stuff, like you have to provide for your kids a home , a roof, food, money, life, security and all that but because you have to do the more complicated stuff, like , look after someone and be responsible for how they turn out later, teach them right from wrong, try to keep them safe and be aware of what they are doing and the sort of people they hang around with , without being annoying or excessive stalker parent-ish. making sure that they understand you are their Parent, and not a random friend and have to respect you, but you are cool enough so that they can tell you what they think or feel even if you dont agree with it. teach them about their faith and culture or background and teach them to be proud and confident but not like big headed, dedicate time and attention to them , worry about them put them before yourself always, etc.
its because i noticed a lot about your parents change as they become your parents, like i know a lot of stuff about my mum, her dreams or views on the world , her love life and all of that, and she didnt just dump everything or fail to reach her dreams because she had children, i think shes quiete proud of her achievements and academic success atleast and rightly so, if you came from a very privileged background in your home country, about as priviliged as it could get and suddenly your country was torn apart in war, your husband was killed, forget about money and you had to flee with your kids and start from scratch and end up, where my mum did , i think you deserve applause, but it seems that in all of that time you put your kids first and yourself last, you just become a parent, and whatever dont know how to put this in words , its like your character and dreams get pushed aside and you have one job, only, and they are different from how they used to be, when they were young like your age and maybe just wanted to have fun or something, hey priorities change.
also i think parents probably make a lot more of an effort to understand their kids, and their kids way of thinking and their kids enviroment more then kids try to understand where their parents are coming from, and the differences to how they grew up and what was expected of them (guilty as charged), i hear parents talking about how best to raise children in the west but i only hear kids talking about how backwards or weird parents are, atleast they are Trying,to understand a culture, that is different or alien to them. i went to an islamic lecture on parents last week and it was interesting and reminded me of the position of parents in Islam, i hope this reminds everyone to be more appreciative, more loving and compassionate and more understanding,to their parents, because i think thats what we are all missing, all of us especially from immigrant backgrounds know our parents did a lot for us simply from the fact that they uprooted themselves from their country their comfortable surroundings and homes for your sake, w inshalla we do enough for them too one day.
'Paradise lies at the feet of your mother'- Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
'life is what happens when your busy making other plans'-Someone very wise
Muchos Gracias
Naz xx <3
